I love making lists, it’s the over accomplisher, slightly OCD side of me. I make lists for groceries, to-do’s and fun stuff. I have a list of goals too! And it’s January so let’s talk about goals. Rather let’s talk about ONE goal.
Over 80% of individuals make resolutions every year, that they quit on by the end of January. Why? Resolutions are made to be quit on, compared to goals that are made to be achieved. I invite you to trash your list of resolutions immediately, if you’ve made one. Resolutions come out of frustrations, social pressures and guilt from over indulging during the holidays, that’s why they don’t stick. Your ego comes up with resolutions, your authentic self comes up with the goals.
Goals are dreams with a game plan attached, which makes them more likely to come to fruition. Goals also have a true intention.
For example, a lot of individuals will plan on losing weight gained thanks to Mr Cookie and Lady Champagne. Do we want to lose weight to be healthier? To please our mate? To fit the social standards? The intention will define the outcome. Making a decision based on what other people will think will likely bring resentment and frustration. Setting a goal based on our core belief will fuel us to meet, if not surpass, that goal.
We don’t always meet our goals, we need to tweak the game plan, and that’s alright. That’s part of the process of getting better at whatever we learn to do. Be kind to yourself, be patient. All successful individual have one thing in common: they don’t quit, when it gets hard.
I invite you to:
-Set ONE goal that resonates with your true self
-Make a game plan, measurable, achievable, rewarding
-Reevaluate and tweak as needed
-Treat yourself when you reach your goal (very important)
By setting one goal at a time, you’re more likely to stay focused and make better use of your energy and headspace.
Change is hard, it is achievable with the proper method and intention though. You can do it!
Reach for the greatest version of yourself!
I often receive feedback from individuals that are surprised to find out how much of an insomniac, pill popping, wine bingeing, stressed out, unhappy mess I used to be. I’ve come a long way, which is why I’m dedicating my time to inspire others to know they can get themselves out of any mess.
I wish for more individuals to feel confident to improve their life, wherever they’re at.
For me, it was a big change that required a lot of work, and I keep working on myself growing, that’s the fun part. I think the scary part for some is to look at the whole staircase when all you really need is to look at the first step. I didn’t improve in all areas of my life at once, I focused on one item at a time. And I got out of my own way 🙂
A few things will keep you from improving and growing, looking at the whole staircase instead of the first step to take is one of them.
Another is the company you keep. You’ve heard it before and you’ll keep hearing it: you are the average of the 5 individuals you spend the most time with. The reason why we keep hearing it is because it has proven to be true, over and over, in personal and professional life. Who do you talk to the most, who do you listen to, who do you spend time with? I’m bringing this up first because that will be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do: walking away from somebody because you find out their influence has a negative impact on your life. Stay around such individuals and you are in self sabotage, pure and simple. Be strong and strategic, you can do it, your future self will thank you.
One more way to get in your own way is to say “yes”. As much as I personally love to hear the word (it’s a positive one right!?) that word can get you in more trouble and counterproductive situations than any other. I urge you to learn to say NO as much and as often as possible. You can always change your mind and say yes later. Being agreeable, wanting to make yourself available and present are great intentions. Your friends and colleagues will appreciate it of course. I invite you to make sure you say “yes” because you’re serving your purpose and not flattering your ego. Do you want to feel appreciated, wanted, relevant? Those are honorable needs. How you get there is more important as it will define your character and your results. Make sure the way you meet your needs is also in alignment with your purpose.
So which area of your life do you wish to improve today? Make a list of your top influencers or write down what you say “yes” to. Either of those techniques can help you make radical positive changes in your life, You can do it!
Reach out to the greatest version of yourself.
There is one ongoing thought present with me, pretty much at all time: “How can I do better?” I’m driven, to a fault, to reach excellence. I’m hungry for growth and knowledge, always have been. In my businesses, consulting and dancing, as well as in my private life, I’m always looking at the next level or how I can improve on the present version. It’s a talent and a strong desire, which equips me to help individuals to reach the next level of their life, or a more productive version of it.
I’m also a problem solver, a fixer, aka a-pain-in-the-neck, when that talent is not solicited. All that knowledge accumulated to make things better can work against me when the present version is actually perfect. We don’t want to improve on perfection, there is no need for it. No need either to fix what’s not broken.
So what to improve? And when?
It boils down to a very interesting emotional dance, pun intended, with oneself. That’s when it’s vital to shut down the outside, and inside noise, to really listen to our inner self. What are the emotions at play? Can you name them? The heart never lies. If a situation is welcoming, your heart will tell you. Let’s keep in mind that appearances can be deceiving. A seemingly perfect experience may send your heart for a disturbing spin. On the other hand, a less than extraordinary experience may have your heart at peace. Why is that?
Your heart is the absolute indicator of what needs to be fixed, improved, changed. Or not! Appearances can be confusing and deceptive but your heart never lies. How many times have you had a conversation with a friend stating that they had the perfect job, relationship, vacation planned, but there was no glimmer in their eyes… We’ve all had that conversation, on each side of that table. There is what perfection looks like, and what perfection feels like. I encourage you to focus on the feeling. We live in a culture that is so focused on appearances and what success and happiness is supposed to look like. At the same time, each one of us is absolutely unique. The cultural standards do not possibly fit everybody’s heart’s desires, it simply doesn’t work!
So I invite you to embrace mediocrity in any area of your life because it takes courage to face a situation that is less than ideal. Once you know the area that can use improvement you will start moving in a productive direction. Most importantly, in a direction that is authentic and leads to true happiness.
As always, I’m here to help!