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Do your expectations spoil your experiences?

One of my main focus is to help individuals increase their level of happiness in life, while avoiding sources of disappointment, frustration or sadness.

I found that it is very important to have high standards. I encourage to set the bar as high as desired. I want people to reach for their dreams, not settle for less.

Having high standards and expecting everybody to reach them is not realistic though, that’s setting ourselves up for disappointment. I believe it is very productive to keep our standards high all the while having low expectations. By expecting less of life and others, we are more likely to be delightfully surprised by an outcome, satisfied, grateful and appreciative.

I also urge individuals not to lower our expectations so low that we put ourselves in an uncomfortable or unsafe position.

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A few months ago, I was relating to a friend of mine my frustration while booking a hotel stay out of town. I also shared that that particular chain was lower in the industry ladder and that there were only so much I could expect from that company. After all, it would be like expecting organic vegetables at a fast food chain restaurant. My friend agreed with me, to a certain extent. He said, and I’ll always remember this, he said: “Even at a fast food restaurant, they give you a cup when your order a drink.”

Touche!

That was the perfect example of me setting my expectations so low, because I wanted to experience joy and gratitude, that my basic needs for respect and comfort were not met.

This is a gray area that will be different for everybody. As I mentioned, I want people to feel fulfilled and happy. I also want them to stand in their power and speak their truth.

I invite you to proactively evaluate what your area of tolerance is for certain situations. It may be an interaction or a product you’ve been using for years. Does it still meet your needs? Does it still meet low, acceptable expectations, or does it need to be reevaluated.

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            Reach for the Greatest Version of yourself!

Paola

 

Do you want healthier relationships? Solutions are in my new book 🙂

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How to be Joyfully Productive

It gets pointed out to be, by friends and strangers alike, how busy I look. I know it’s meant as a compliment. For me though, the word busy is a source of tension. Being busy doesn’t mean that one is successful or happy, they just look like they’re doing a lot of stuff. In our culture, doing a lot, to the point of exhaustion, has become socially valued. I rebel against that notion. Having been on both sides of that aisle, I can confidently say that being busy and doing a lot is not the way to happiness and a fulfilling life. In Chinese, the word “busy” translates as “kill the heart”. I’m not looking for that outcome, nor do I want that for my clients.
I’m more partial to doing things effectively and joyfully. A method that has worked really well for me is to find my peak time. The peak time is that period of the day that you’re more likely to do a certain activity when the process is easy and fluid and the result is superior.
For example, I can get a lot done virtually in the morning. I get up at 5:30am and after a light breakfast and some movement, I can get my most important work done before lunch. Doing that same kind of activity in the afternoon would be grueling for me! I have a friend that does his virtual work in the evening, that’s his peak time. It will be different for everybody. The trick is to explore and find what works for you.
Because the activity flows easily, we’ll get more joy out of it too! Your heart never lies! Check in with yourself in your discovery process to see what works and what doesn’t. It may happen on occasion that some activity need be scheduled at a less than ideal time. I find it productive to prepare for those assignment with self care. I seldom do virtual work or give consultations past 5pm. I’ll do it if it’s an emergency and I will reflect and center myself specifically for it as it is outside my peak time and natural flow. We still need to have some flexibility and get the work done, no need to brutalize ourselves in the process though. Self care always comes first.
I also like to look at the flow of activities and if I partner some activities together, how productive will that be. I can rehearse a speech and do the dishes at the same time, that works for me. I find myself less productive if I jump from returning emails and making phone calls. I prefer to do one, then the other. Again, everybody is different, discover what works best for you.
That system has allowed me to get a lot of stuff done in a short period of time, that’s great time management, and find joy in the process, that’s emotional productivity. I invite you to search for your ideal system. It may take some time and tweaking, however, it’s been a game changer for me. I hope it helps you too.
Reach for the greatest version of yourself!
Paola
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