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How to Maximize your Happiness with Intention?

AustinTango180Last weekend was quite the Tango experience. We hosted amazing teachers from Buenos Aires to teach a workshop. We taught our classes Friday night, then Milonga, then workshop Saturday afternoon, then Milonga, then workshop Sunday afternoon, then farewell diner.

My business partner and I were fried by Monday morning!

That being said, we had set a very clear intention for that demanding event: we wanted to bring the teaching of those two experts to our students and friends. So each time we ran out of steam a bit, we had in mind why we were doing what we were doing. We had set a solid intention.

What I invite you to do, with pretty much everything you’re doing, is to set an intention. From time spent with friends to career and hobbies. What are you trying to accomplish?

This is really important because we want to be happy. Happiness can be easily destroyed by resentment or lack of accountability.

intentBy setting our intention before hand, we are better able to manage our emotions, our time and our area of tolerance. We are better equipped to enjoy ourselves and easily set boundaries. We can protect ourselves from toxic elements or over stretching ourselves.

The idea of pre-set intention may seem overwhelming itself, however, like anything else, whatever we do gets easier the more we do it. It’s not like we’re planning every second of our life, we just get better at making faster decisions about what is truly in alignment with our authentic self. This is where joy and happiness reside and this is what I want for you 🙂

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Reach for the Greatest Version of Yourself

Paola

 

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What’s on your bucket list?

A bucket list is not something to wait on when we’re older. A bucket list is something we nurture through out our life to allow ourselves to dream big and expand in our life.

One of my top goals as a coach is to empower women to break free of self limiting beliefs. It’s so counter productive to think small, why not think big?

As Maya Angelou said: “Don’t you know you’re a child of God?”

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I believe we can have anything our heart desires if we believe we can. Believe you can’t and you won’t, it’s that simple.

So today I invite you make a list of dreams, of things you want to do, become or have. You can start with a list of 10, or go straight to 100, you read that right, 100.

The point of the bucket list is to keep us in touch with our true desires and true self. It will also train your brain to spot what you’re looking for. The more you think about something, the more likely you are to recognize it when you see it. Think chocolate cake and all of a sudden you see chocolate everywhere!

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I invite you to write down your list with pen and paper, the idea connects to your brain more powerfully that way.

I then invite you to transfer that list to a virtual format so you can keep it updated. Replace every item you accomplish with a new one. The point is not to get to all the items all the time rather than training your brain to always be searching and being alert.

I also encourage you to read that list as often as possible, daily if you’d like. The more you do it, the more those items will come into your life. It seems magic but, really, it’s science. You’re training your brain to recognize what you’re looking for and for ways to get there. That’s it.

Not sure? Just try it and let me know what happens. I know it works because I do it all the time. I’d love to hear from you though, do share your experience with me 🙂

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            Reach for the Greatest Version of yourself!

Paola

 

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Perfect Timing

Perfect timing is something I came up with, and regularly affirm, with a certain dose of confidence and humor. I believe perfection is an illusion, I also believe we can get as close to it as possible.

Perfect timing is a system I put together to get as much done as possible while being as happy and content as possible. It’s part time management and part emotional productivity.

I notice that we often set ourselves up for failure building our to do list or planning our day. We may feel the pressure to accomplish certain things, or a certain amount of it, regardless of dynamics, priorities or energy available.

 

Perfect timing requires prioritizing, a lot! What are the top items of the day that will get you closer to your goal? Just pick a few, not 20. The dishes can wait until tomorrow, following up with a prospect doesn’t.

 

I encourage you to get rid of distractions. Do we really need to watch a Netflix for 4 hours each day? Do we HAVE to be on Facebook hours on end, or every 15 minutes? Focus is a big part of success and reaching our goals. Entertaining ourselves is valid, letting that stir us from our goal is not.

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I also encourage you to prioritize your human interactions. Who are your top personal and professional positive influences? Make a list and space out the time spent with the ones that don’t fit the category. We can have a vast network of wonderful individuals, there is no need to be in touch with all of them all the time, especially those that demand more energy from us than we get in return.

 

I invite you to make a precise schedule and stick to it. At what time we show up, late or on time, is a make or break in relationships. When was the last time you heard someone compliment an individual for being late? My point exactly! We want to create connection not, the opposite. I passionately encourage you to be on time to everything. For that to happen, we need to give ourselves time to get ready, get there, communicate to all parties involved what our schedule is. I closed meetings on several occasions because they were going on longer than I had planned. It was communicated and I followed up later, which let me be on time to my next appointment. We are allowed to be unapologetic about our priorities as long as it is communicated in a kind and confident manner.

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I hope this helps. I have been able to be extremely productive with this system, getting the important things done and not letting the small stuff get in the way. What’s helpful to you in your productivity? I’d love to know! Comment below 🙂

 

Reach for the greatest version of yourself!

 

Paola

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What’s your ROE?

One of the most useful practice I incorporated in my very productive lifestyle was to manage my ROE, aka Return On Energy.

We’re all different and some things can be a source of joy, others can be absolutely draining! That’s the journey of learning about who we are and what makes us tick, in a good way, or not. It’s also the process of being unapologetic about who we are, where we’re at, and what works for us.

I’m a recovering people pleaser so I can totally relate to the pressure of wanting to be perfect and liked for what we do, because we’re afraid of not being loved for who we are. I invite you to be strong and choose wisely, it’s totally worth it!

Two methods I use to honor the ultimate ROE is saying YES or saying No. It’s simple, again, it works best when we’re connected to our true self.

I love to say YES to opportunities and figure it out later. I especially say YES if it comes across as a little scary. There is nothing wrong about going back to previous commitments as long as it’s done in a way that is transparent and secure rather than volatile or self serving. We can also give a head’s up and communicate clearly where we’re at.

For example: ” that sounds like a great opportunity, I’m not sure that I can rise to the challenge fully but I’d like to give it a try, would that be alright?” That way we set the tone for the experience and the expectation.

I also love to say No, which happens more and more often lately. I say No to others and myself.

I say No to a lot of invitations, demands and expectations, social pressures and cultural framing. I was at a gathering last weekend and one of the guest completely put me down for not attending certain meetings, to which I never committed in the first place. She questioned me about my availability until I flat out responded: “it’s my self-care day” She didn’t get it, and that’s alright.

I say NO to myself if I crave junk food or if I want to keep working instead of focusing on self-care. I say No to myself about feeling responsible or guilty for others feelings and decisions. It’s their story to write, not mine. I say No to myself when i’m looking for the easy way out of my thought process instead of being vulnerable and owning it.

It’s a matter of focus and being clear on what we really want. Those decisions will define the emotional outcome. How much we can accomplish in one day will depend on how much we enjoy it. Let’s choose wisely 🙂

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           Reach for the greatest version of yourself!

Paola

 

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Goals versus Intentions

We hear a lot about goals: what are your goals in life? What’s your Big Hairy goal? What goal are you trying to reach?
These questions are valid as it’s productive to have a target to aim to and to keep us focused. How we get to that goal is just as relevant. Here’s comes intention. Intention is the energy, the reason for the goal.
For example, I went to a delightful party last Saturday night. My goal was to have fun, my intent was to connect. Connection is fun for me!
Intentions, just as goals, vary from one person to the next. Two individuals can have the same goal in life, for example building a successful business, and have different intentions for it. One person wants a successful business to be financially free, another may want a successful business to have a positive impact on the world. There is no right or wrong intention as long as it’s in alignment with the final goal.
If I say that I want to build a successful business to have a positive impact in the world but my intention is to pay myself as much as possible, and pay everybody else as little as possible, the intent is not in alignment with the goal. People may not take it seriously and it may hurt the business.
Intentions can be applied to everything, from doing the laundry to going to the grocery store. By checking in regularly with yourself and asking “What’s my intention? Does it serve the goal?” you’ll get in the habit of self evaluating if you’re still on track. This has been one of the most important tool I introduced to my lifestyle and has helped tremendously with my productivity, my decision making process and overall happiness.
What’s your goal today? And what’s your intention? Share it with me, I’d love to know!
Reach for the greatest version of yourself!
Paola
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Invest in Yourself

I believe that the results we get in life depend on who we are. Not where we were born, not how much money we have, not our IQ. The results will vary depending on our skills and our attitude. Some things can’t be changed. We’re given a certain hand of cards at the beginning of our lives, how we play that hand will determine the outcome.

How we get the best outcome possible is about developing the skills we need to get there.

For example, one day, we learnt to read. If we were to keep reading at the same level than our first year in school, we would only have access to that grade’s library. We wouldn’t be able to process other materials because we didn’t learn the skills. That’s very limiting!

If we want to have access to more, we must become more, we must learn more. There is no right or wrong way to do this. I just wish for everyone to be aware that we set the barre, and the limit, on our success. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results is not productive. So how can we do things differently, what do we need to learn, to get the results we’re looking for?

It’s an investment. It takes a long time, it’s hard, tedious and we want to give up, often. However, if we know that this is the way to get everything our heart wishes, if we stay focused on our intentions, we will succeed!

We sometimes think that success is conditional upon intelligence, money and birth privileges. Those things can help, for sure, they are not the decisive factors though, our skills are. Our attitude and our focus  determine the outcome. I’m specifically referring to soft skills: communication, empathy, emotional intelligence.

We could come up with the best product to sell, if we’re not able to connect with our clients, they will not trust us, and they will buy something else, from someone else. People don’t buy products, they buy an experience, and the experience is conditional upon the players.

It’s an investment because the process is slow, it’s a gamble at times, but it usually pays off. I’m personally more likely to invest in myself with confidence than the stock market. I know my ROI. I am so solid in my investment that I can now share valuable information and give support to others. The best thing I ever invested in is myself. I invite you to look into investing in yourself 🙂

Reach for the greatest version of yourself.

Paola
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Curiosity

As  much as I want to keep politics out of my blogs, it has become obvious that the current climate is negatively affecting friends and family, regardless that their candidate won or not. A reported 78% of individuals feel more stressed now than a few months ago, that’s a big number.

One thing that has helped me a lot, and I hope it helps you too, is to be curious. It works at several levels too.

 

Being curious about other individuals, especially the ones we disagree with, let’s us put the focus on the human being rather than the label we associate a person with. By focusing on the humanity, we can find understanding and connection on neutral ground. We see some of ourselves too and that brings us closer. We can do this with just about anyone. We all want the same thing after all, how we get there is what sets us apart. Focusing on the goal rather than how we get there nurtures our similarities, not our differences.

 

Being curious about others puts us in a giving position: we give our time and our attention. Givers are winners that create more connections than the takers. Period. Being curious has been reported to be one of the most efficient way to build a successful business. By being curious about our clients, customers, friends, we can find out what they truly want and meet that need if we can, or introduce them to someone who will.

Curiosity is also a fun game. There is always something to discover. Are you bored about a situation? Ask questions, look for what you don’t already know. You may be delightfully surprised by what you unveil. The world is after all an amazing treasure, why limit ourselves to what we already see when there is so much out there waiting to be revealed to us. That’s an abundance mindset that has never failed me, I invite you to give it a shot 🙂

 

Reach for the greatest version of yourself!

 

Paola
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Where’s your power?

If you follow my blog, you already know that I purchased a new-to-me car a few months ago. She rocks my socks off and she’s been so good to me so far. One thing I learnt about used cars is that they develop some personality traits after a few years. So when my Sterling decides to flash one way or another, or the door doesn’t shut for 24 hours, I just let it go. It never lasts, she’s having a moment, that’s all.

Her moment the other day was to have the clock reset itself to zero. I put the clock back to the right time once, I let it go the second time. I reflected on why I need a clock in my vehicle when I already practice perfect timing, I’m never late and I have the time on my phone anyway.

I grew up in an hostile and violent environment. One of the consequences of that childhood as an adult is working towards staying away from unsafe environments  and developing some overly controlling tendencies. I work at letting stuff go,almost everyday.

The clock in my car only reminds me that it took me 30 minutes instead of 15 to get to my destination. It’s a constant reminder that it can be challenging driving around a million people metropolis.Sometimes the clock reassures me that I’m on time, that being said, I’m always on time. I’d rather focus on being confident rather than needing reassurance. The first is power, the second is passive.

Being reassured has it’s place, it can be important. In the case of time, and my clock, I don’t find it necessary.

So where is your power? Your power is in realizing what you can’t change and stepping into what you can change.

You can’t change the weather, people’s impression of you or the fact that you will die one day. I invite you to spend time as little time as possible on those items.

What do you have power over? Your attitude, your goals and the company you keep. I invite you to spend as much time as you’d like on those items.

So the clock in my car is blank, I now have more head space to focus on my purpose 🙂

Reach for the greatest version of yourself!

Paola

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