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Invest in Yourself

I believe that the results we get in life depend on who we are. Not where we were born, not how much money we have, not our IQ. The results will vary depending on our skills and our attitude. Some things can’t be changed. We’re given a certain hand of cards at the beginning of our lives, how we play that hand will determine the outcome.

How we get the best outcome possible is about developing the skills we need to get there.

For example, one day, we learnt to read. If we were to keep reading at the same level than our first year in school, we would only have access to that grade’s library. We wouldn’t be able to process other materials because we didn’t learn the skills. That’s very limiting!

If we want to have access to more, we must become more, we must learn more. There is no right or wrong way to do this. I just wish for everyone to be aware that we set the barre, and the limit, on our success. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results is not productive. So how can we do things differently, what do we need to learn, to get the results we’re looking for?

It’s an investment. It takes a long time, it’s hard, tedious and we want to give up, often. However, if we know that this is the way to get everything our heart wishes, if we stay focused on our intentions, we will succeed!

We sometimes think that success is conditional upon intelligence, money and birth privileges. Those things can help, for sure, they are not the decisive factors though, our skills are. Our attitude and our focus  determine the outcome. I’m specifically referring to soft skills: communication, empathy, emotional intelligence.

We could come up with the best product to sell, if we’re not able to connect with our clients, they will not trust us, and they will buy something else, from someone else. People don’t buy products, they buy an experience, and the experience is conditional upon the players.

It’s an investment because the process is slow, it’s a gamble at times, but it usually pays off. I’m personally more likely to invest in myself with confidence than the stock market. I know my ROI. I am so solid in my investment that I can now share valuable information and give support to others. The best thing I ever invested in is myself. I invite you to look into investing in yourself 🙂

Reach for the greatest version of yourself.

Paola
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Patience

The beauty of the journey of personal development is that it’s unending. There is always something new to learn, always something to tweak.
As I journaled this morning, I realized that I need to work some more on my patience. I’m naturally passionate and eager, I love to make stuff happen, which are qualities I’m very proud of. Those character traits can also feed an impatient intention that is then counterproductive.

I went back to partner dancing in March of 2015 with one goal in mind: tango. As usual, I eventually got what I wanted, and then some. I wasn’t planning at the time to do it professionally but life has some invitations one simply doesn’t refuse. And I’m so glad I went with it.
In the process of becoming a dancer, an assistant teacher and a performer, I experienced the agitation, frustration and fears of not performing at the level I desired. I believe in excellence and delivering at a high level. I tend to forget that skills do require time to develop.
I compared myself (bad idea) to other dancers and my dance partner. I beat myself down regularly and experienced stress and fear due to it.
At the same time, I reminded myself of how much I had learnt in a short period of time, how fast I was learning,  and how dedicated and committed I was. that struggle took place for many months. I fluctuated from proud to ashamed, from satisfaction to frustration. As a cherry on the cake, I also projected those insecurities on my dance partner (sorry about that Darling). I’m delighted to report that after some work, and the help of my coach, I’m at a more comfortable level now. Although I’m fully aware of all the great work I have in front of me to become the dancer I want to be, I now go through the motion with faith and more patience. I know what I want, I know how to get there, it’s going to happen, eventually, period.

What I realized this morning is another area I need to practice patience in. Because I applied the process successfully with dancing, I can apply that process to other areas of my life. And I know I will be successful in those areas too, in time.
Patience is one element of the foundation of our dance teaching, right next to kindness.
We need to be patient, with ourselves and others. We must remember that we do our best, all the time, everyday. Growth takes time!

Reach for the greatest version of yourself!

Paola
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Embrace mediocrity. Wait! What!?

There is one ongoing thought present with me, pretty much at all time: “How can I do better?” I’m driven, to a fault, to reach excellence. I’m hungry for growth and knowledge, always have been. In my businesses, consulting and dancing, as well as in my private life, I’m always looking at the next level or how I can improve on the present version. It’s a talent and a strong desire, which equips me to help individuals to reach the next level of their life, or a more productive version of it.

I’m also a problem solver, a fixer, aka a-pain-in-the-neck, when that talent is not solicited. All that knowledge accumulated to make things better can work against me when the present version is actually perfect. We don’t want to improve on perfection, there is no need for it. No need either to fix what’s not broken.

So what to improve? And when?

It boils down to a very interesting emotional dance, pun intended, with oneself. That’s when it’s vital to shut down the outside, and inside noise, to really listen to our inner self. What are the emotions at play? Can you name them? The heart never lies. If a situation is welcoming, your heart will tell you. Let’s keep in mind that appearances can be deceiving. A seemingly perfect experience may send your heart for a disturbing spin. On the other hand, a less than extraordinary experience may have your heart at peace. Why is that?

Your heart is the absolute indicator of what needs to be fixed, improved, changed. Or not! Appearances can be confusing and deceptive but your heart never lies. How many times have you had a conversation with a friend stating that they had the perfect job, relationship, vacation planned, but there was no glimmer in their eyes… We’ve all had that conversation, on each side of that table. There is what perfection looks like, and what perfection feels like. I encourage you to focus on the feeling. We live in a culture that is so focused on appearances and what success and happiness is supposed to look like. At the same time, each one of us is absolutely unique. The cultural standards do not possibly fit everybody’s heart’s desires, it simply doesn’t work!

So I invite you to embrace mediocrity in any area of your life because it takes courage to face a situation that is less than ideal. Once you know the area that can use improvement you will start moving in a productive direction. Most importantly, in a direction that is authentic and leads to true happiness.

As always, I’m here to help!

Paola

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