The Agreements

What’s the difference between a rule and an agreement? A rule may be dictated by another party, and we follow it, or not. An agreement is agreed upon by all parties, and more likely to be honored. I love productivity and connection, therefore, we’ll stick to the word agreement today.

I invite you to come up with, revisit or reaffirm the agreements of your life. These are not the rules we live by in our society out of respect and self preservation, these are things we believe in because they align with our persona. For example, if you drink the last bit of coffee from the pot, do you make a fresh one? Or do you just walk away? Will someone get annoyed if the coffee pot is empty? Is there an agreement about the coffee pot?

There are two types of agreements for me: agreements with myself and agreement with others.
I run my life by the agreements I set up for myself. What I do, or don’t do, is dictating on a daily basis by what I affirmed are my personal values. Some of those values took some deliberating, others were very easy to come up with, some I’m still debating on. When an occasion arises to make a decision and I’m uncertain about what action to take, I fall back on my personal agreements. If an event challenges my existing agreement, I may revisit, or reaffirm. Everything changes, and we must adapt.
Agreements with others are an investment in productive interaction. It’s an investment because we’ll have to set time to talk about certain subjects, some easy, others not so easy, so we can have as much of an idea about what to expect. We don’t always know for sure what can be a source of pain to others. Taking some time to find out is an act of kindness and generosity. Once agreements are in place, we can go about our business with peace of mind that certain things will be taken care of. It takes a village, right?
Agreements do require integrity and the investment of affirming agreements has a higher return with individuals with higher integrity, that’s an obvious one.
That being said, something wonderful happens when a person is given trust, out of the benefit of the doubt. It’s a risk, however, my personal experience is that on many occasions individuals will choose to show integrity if they are given trust rather than if they feel being tested for trust. It’s a tricky one, and it’s up to each to decide how they want to invest their time and resources. I invite you to try it from time to time and share the results with me.
Some agreements may be different from person to person: who is allowed to borrow your toothbrush?
Some agreements may apply to everybody: I don’t borrow things without asking.
Invest in those questions now and a lot of decision will be a lot easier to make in the future.
It builds a code of honor, a reputation, a consideration from others. We all want to be connected, it’s easier to connect with individuals that are non-threatening, the unknown is threatening, let’s be obvious and expected then. We can keep the wild nature and spontaneity for the people in our lives that can handle it.

What are some of your most solid agreements? Share below πŸ™‚

Reach for the greatest version of yourself!

Paola
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