One thing that has served me a great deal in my personal, as well as professional, life is to share as little information as possible, also called vaulting.
I find it very productive, and kind, to keep some information to ourselves, especially if that information was passed to us by others. The two top reasons are to respect the privacy of some individuals and to create a space of connection and trust.
Would you trust someone who divulges your most personal secrets? Or even just personal information about your work or your lifestyle?
I’m regularly shocked at what some individuals say to me considering the low priority relationship status experienced at the time or the nature of the conversation. Let’s keep in mind that the way some people behave with you is the way they will behave about you with others. If they gossip with you about others, they will gossip about you with others.
I feel for the ones that need that sense of importance that gossiping or communicating hot details can bring. We all need to feel connected. The same way that misery loves company. so does insecurity. Individuals that divulge too much typically think very little of themselves and their life. It’s a shame! I’m firmly certain there is something special about every single one of us!
So what to say and not say?
If you wouldn’t want somebody to say it about you, don’t say it about them.
If you’re not sure, say nothing.
If you’re unsure and have the opportunity, ask the person involved in the story if you can share the details. Double checking facts is helpful too.
Or, tell the story if it is really significant, just leave out all details that could trace back to anyone in particular. No name, no place, no dates.
I find that very few shares, regardless how sensational they can be, are worth damaging a relationship or one’s reputation, starting with our own.
Discretion is a precious talent. In an environment where social media reigns it could be tempting to think that more is better. I believe that better is better.
Let’s also take in consideration that social medias are tools, we’ll get out of them whatever we build with them. We can connect, or disconnect. That is our choice!
I invite you to share a story or some information below that you would find connecting and productive to others. Go!
Reach for the greatest version of yourself!
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