A subject that is , finally, being discussed more and more is emotional intelligence, or EQ if you prefer. It’s not so much that it’s a new subject or area of growth, rather than it’s been neglected in past decades to give space to sales pitch, diplomas and how many of your kids birthdays you can miss to make your deadline or get a promotion. The way we work, and live, has drastically changed in the past decades, which has affected our lifestyle, and to a certain extent, our health.
Emotional Intelligence is back in the conversation because we’re realizing that convenience and titles are not all that’s cracked up to be. We’re slowly going back to a greater quality of life and reconnecting with one another. Emotional Intelligence is part of the successful outcome of being part of something greater than ourselves.
This is another tough area of growth as it requires awareness, vulnerability, patience and developing a new skill.
Let’s take an example: your coworker missed the deadline on a shared project, you find out 15 minutes before the presentation, with no time to compensate for the lack of work on his part. How do you feel and what will you do?
Most individuals would experience emotions ranging from disappointment to full blown rage at the idea of being let down and probably getting in trouble with a superior. Emotions are valid, that’s what we need to be aware of, and accepting of. Letting emotions run the show is counterproductive though.
We have the opportunity to become aware of our emotions, to be accepting of them and have the skills to manage them.
Let’s say you became angry when your coworker delivered the news to you. Ideally, you would have 15 minutes before the meeting to go through the emotional process so you can give a presentation without an anger filter. You will do the best you can with what you have and hopefully not throw your coworker under the bus.
That’s a skill that can be developed, with patience and practice, by focusing on the main goal, in this case the presentation, and prioritizing on productivity, as being angry is a valid emotion but doesn’t accomplish a single thing really. Staying angry will also make it more difficult to connect with your coworker to find out and understand why the work wasn’t done. We never truly know what happens in people’s lives and we have an opportunity to learn each time. EQ makes space for compassion and stronger connections.
Going through that process, over and over, is really hard. You may find out things about yourself you may not be proud of. Be patient and kind to yourself, we all have skeletons in our closets, we do have a choice to limit how many they are. I’m a strong supporter of any skills that creates connections and nurture relationships. Emotional Intelligence is an essential part of it.
Reach for the greatest version of yourself!
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